UK Trip Blog goes Fourth: Lady Chatty

Written at the end of the tour: 14 July 2015

I'm a chatty person by nature, and I tend to chat more when I'm a bit anxious. For me, silence is a sign of either extreme anxiety or somnolence. Thus I often find myself in new social situations caught in a paradox of anxiety: about annoying people with my chattiness and then chatting more as a result of my anxiety. Group study tours for me consequently become a see-saw of over-chatting and biting my tongue. Every time I vow it will be different. Every time, it's not. The challenge is knowing when to shut up, and when to have a bit of chat. On the upside, my propensity for a chat does mean I get a lot of information out of friendly tour guides, cleaners, coffee makers, Beadles and Border staff. Grumpy bus drivers and waiters I can just ignore.

Some of the documents unearthed during research at the Archives

This played out perfectly on our final free day, when Fulya and I utilised the little time remaining to finally visit the Sheffield Botanical Gardens for our social-use survey. I have had decades of experience in questioning strangers on the street so was not intimated by what we had planned. I do struggle though, with interrupting people clearly just trying to enjoy their down time, much as I wished I could have my own. The stunning weather had brought out hundreds of office workers, families and students, so subject availability was wide and varied. Most people were if not happy, at least unconcerned by being randomly approached by two Australian students asking why they come to the gardens. Most. Except the one Fulya and I have taken to calling "Arrogant Man". He was such an embodiment of the fabled English passive aggressive faux-courtesy, he could easily have been sent over by central casting, just to make life difficult for us. Seriously dude, just learn to say no. We had a couple of elderly types tell us that and no one died.

The biggest challenge I faced and genuinely feared, is getting from Point A to Point B. I don't 'travel' well. I get grumpy, very sore and generally unwell. But if I plan ahead and keep my foibles in mind I am able to counteract much of the pain and paste a smile on my face. Being left behind to always catch up is humiliating and exhausting, so being given plenty of time to leave early is important to me. Expressing that without being snarky is difficult. I have been very fortunate on this trip to be surrounded by caring people willing to wait or help when it's been needed.